I Have Overcome

You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. ~~1 John 4:4

You see, even before, I wanted to look tough than I really am. And, sad to say that it seems like my family thought so too. So, I had grown up making people think that I am. But then, just as any other story, I know for the fact that I am very vulnerable, I'm soft and I'm weak and definitely very weak on the inside. Although you really wouln't think so because I am a little bit sporty even if  I don't do that much sports and even exercise when I came to live in the city where everything seemed to be in a hurry. I can't seem to catch up on everything, which hindered me from having a real good time under the sun.

Anyway, all these time, I thought I really couldn't win the heart of my father to Jesus although, I do believe that they will be saved, because God said so. But, I really don't know how. I kept on telling myself, "Don't give yourself a headache thinking of that Jan, for only God knows how to deal with them. Just focus on becoming closer to God." But I can't make myself believe on those words. It seemed like I wanted to make this absurd master plan, of which I don't know what it is, and make them understand my faith. But still, I can't. I didn't. I never did anything that would make them understand me. I was choked up with the idea that I am too weak on the inside, too weak to handle something this big. I was chained with the lies of the devil that I am weak no matter how tough I want to look.

When no one is watching, when I am all alone, that weakness is being revealed. The emptiness and the feeling of being lonely slowly crepts in me like there is no hope of having someone to be with me during the bad times. Lie after lie slowly pops out of my head and surrounds me. Like it was determined to blind me, to kill me.

Even how hard I cry out to God during those times, it seemed like I can't feel Him being there which of course is just one of the devils lies. I am blinded. It seemed like, the more closer I want to be with God, to know Him, the farther I am from Him. It seemed like there was no hope for me.

But then, todays devotional struck my heart. Those lies I had believed until today seemed to slowly disappear as I read 1 John 4:4. God had already overcome the world for me. He is greater than any of us in here. He is greater than the devil. Of course, I've known of that fact for so long now but then, it is different when you felt like God is  really speaking to you during those quite moments. It is different when you know that you are on a date with Him. That you know that that day, God is encountering you.

I was so afraid of my dad all these days, I had utmost respect for him, probably even to tie with that I have for God. I had so much pride in him even if he isn't the ideal dad I would want to have. But that shouldn't be like that. My father and my family are mere humans, created by God. Yes, he is my biological father, but my real father is that who is in heaven. My real father is God. I was just entrusted to my earthly father while I am on my human journey in preparation for my eternal life with Him. I never understood that until this morning. I shouldn't be afraid of him because I know my identity in the eyes of God. I am His precious daughter. I am His princess, and He delights in me.

Further, in the next verse, it says "They are from the world and therefore speak from the viewpoint of the world, and the world listens to them."

Therefore, I should not expect that they would understand me. But, this doesn't mean that they would never understand me forever. For I too was once like them - blinded from the truth. Until they would know what love is, they will never ba able to understand me.

Until I could show them what true love is, what God's love is like, their eyes will never be opened, their ears will never be able to listen.

Further in 1 John 4:18 it says,
"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen."

The love I have received from Him, from my real Father ought to be passed on to those who are lost, to those who have not known their real Father. Only by that will they know who God is. Because through that love, I live in God and He in me (1 John 4:16). And, when He is in me, it is not I who they would be able to see, but God.

God already had a plan of saving my family, of reaching my family. It was done 2000 years ago (1 John 4:9-10). And all I have to do, since I had loved him because he first loved me (1 John 4:19) is to show that love, to pass that love to others- to my family- through loving them(1 John 4:21).

Now, I will no longer be afraid to face my father and show him who I am. Now I could have the confidence of showing them that I live in God's love, that sometimes this child they thought had never had weak moments actually is weak and just takes the strength she needs from hear real father, her everything, her God.