Read Jesus' next words to this man: "Get up! Pick up your mat and walk." (John 5:8, NIV)
Through this story, I came to know the truth of Hebrews 4:12 (NIV): "For the Word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart."
I surrendered my heart and all that held it captive to God. He whispered in my ear, "Wendy, I have a most beautiful and abundant life for you, but you will never know that life until you have the courage to get up off your mat and walk." God's Word came alive. He spoke personally to me, and in that moment, I committed to take a first step off my mat.
~~ Wendy Blight
As I read Wendy's entry for Encouragement Today I burst into tears. Not because I sympathize with what Wendy had shared but because I saw myself on the man's shoes. I haven't thought that I am behaving like this until now. My situation was slowly crippling me. Yes, I am still active at church but my situation is slowly killing my spirit. These past few days, my heart is being burdened by somethings which others might think is easy to solve.
I am the first Christian in my family and if you live in a common Filipino home you'll know that children follow the religion their parents are into and it isn't easy to have your personal choice over such thing. We do have the freedom of religion, yes. But it isn't actually like that within most homes. We are forced to go to the church our parents are going.
For 20 years I am forced to believe in my parent's church and my grandma is threatening us that if we transfer to other churches then they will disown us and it may even cause her health to go down plus several other threats.
Those were the chains slowly killing me. I love my family so much that I grabbed that lie and just let things happen. So, up until now, I am living in my family's shadows and doesn't have my own voice to follow. Well, not really, I do go to a Christian church without my family knowing. I am hiding the truth from them about it but I don't want to hide anymore. I want them to accept me for what I believe in and what my decisions are. But I don't know how to tell it to them. It's as if my voice flies away from me the moment I want to tell them the truth.
And for the past few days, my devotionals and the seminars I had gone through tells me to just tell my family about it, and I really want to. I want to end this misery and just worship God freely. I want to be a free servant of God. I want to get up from the mat and walk under God's shadows.
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